Three Minutes in 5th Grade
“You look like winter.” a man’s voice said. We pressed our ears against the thin wallpapered sheet rock separating the hotel rooms, trying to imagine the unimaginable. The sound of sheets moving and the squeak of mattress springs made us look at one another with wide eyes. Jackpot! Jimmy started snickering, but a shoulder punch from Eric shut him up.
“Shhh!” I whispered. This was it. Jimmy’s birthday party was about to become the heart of all the 5th grade gossip next week.
“What the hell Frank! I said I wanted you to compliment me more. Tell me. HOW is THAT a compliment?” a woman shouted. Shit.
“Are they stopping?” whispered Jimmy. Eric shoulder punched him again.
“If they argue maybe they’ll have make up sex.” I whispered, feeling tipsy from even saying that mysterious word.
“Come on Baby, why do you have to be like that. You look, you look beautiful. I love those, um, those hair piece extensions you got. These ones don’t come off…”
“Just SHUT UP!” she screamed. A door slammed. We stared at one another with wide eyes.
“How long do we have to wait?” Jimmy whispered. Eric glared at him and he winced.
“What exactly are you boys doing?” came a voice from behind them. We turned around in unison. The terrible-evil-no-good-chaperone had returned.
“Nothing.” we said in unison.
“Did you bring pizza?!” Jimmy squealed.